It's 6pm, dinner is on the table and I can't eat. I'm suffering by my own hand--and mouth. I was so stupid! I've known that dairy is no good for me. The blood test proved an intolerance. It also told me I'm intolerant of wheat, and hence, gluten. I had known it was coming. I jumped right in, looked up vegan GF recipes. I'd already been cooking and baking vegan for years, but I, myself, had never fully given up dairy. It went smoothly for a while, but then the cravings started. I wanted high fat, totally indulgent food; i.e. pizza! I'd already indulged in a bit of cheese here and there with my bean chili, tostadas, etc. I was fine. Then I indulged in homemade Christmas cookies people brought to work. Also fine. Then students gave me delicious baked goods. Still fine. I decided I couldn't stop. I had to just give in and have a big cheese pizza. A day later and yow! Crampcity. Definitely not fine. It wasn't just the cheese, I know, it was the gluten. In fact, even as I was eating pizza last night a terrible migraine-like headache was coming on. Light and sound hurt my head and I was in bed by 6pm.

There you go, Lauren. I guess I had to prove to myself that, though sometimes a little indulgence will be fine, inevitably it will lead to pain. My 6 year old, who has always been intolerant of dairy and egg, has also become GF recently. She also felt the need to prove to herself that she really shouldn't eat wheat. I don't even remember what she ate, but later in the day she had a terrible headache. It is a sight to see a little 6 year old holding her palm to her forehead and whining about having a headache. Children aren't supposed to have headaches! I know they do, though, and I bet it's often from food.

Alright. I really have to commit to being dairy and gluten-free. The problem is, I'm very tired every day. I haven't been taking care of myself like I should by taking my vitamins. I know I am deficient in B, Iron and D. I could also be taking my probiotic more regularly and MSM, which helps with energy. I need a lot of sleep and even after 9 hours of sleep have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. Needless to say, I don't have the energy to hit the gym after work. I just realized that it's almost the New Year--the standard for setting resolutions. I'm not focusing on the New Year, but just from today. I need to obey doctor's orders. Seriously.

1. Take vitamins EVERY day, like the medicine they are. I was prescribed them and I need them.
2. Resist temptations at work. No dairy, no wheat, no exceptions. Every time I eat it, I deplete my body's already low energy.
3. Focus on the food I can have and can enjoy. This means cooking, but it also means PLANNING. If I make a meal plan every Saturday, grocery shopping will be easy and dinner will be easier.

I'm not in this alone, either. G can do it and S finally agrees that cow's milk is disgusting. Cheese is our last hurdle, but even S has developed a taste for cheese alternatives! That is a miracle. Both kids are eating fried rice with tofu for dinner. I'm feeling better now, so I'm going to go enjoy a bowl as well.