For a while this past winter Friday meant French Fries at lunch from the school cafeteria. I'd sprinkle on the Old Bay and fill two cups with ketchup to dip every single bite. And every single afternoon after I ate them, I felt tired, uncomfortably full and overall crappy. Now that spring is here, I have a feeling of renewal and I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I want to get busy and get active and eat fresh foods. I reread Natalia Rose's book Detox 4 Women and am abiding by the diet as best I can. Today I ate half a cantaloupe for breakfast and then had raw celery and soft goat cheese for lunch. I'll eat the other half of the cantaloupe for afternoon snack and then enjoy a spinach and mushroom omelet with goat cheese for dinner. It's refreshing to eat in this way that leaves me feeling energized rather than lethargic.

Beanballs

S asked for spaghetti for dinner, so I figured it was time to make another attempt at faux meatballs. I've made faux Salisbury steak (awesome with gravy) and faux meatballs before... with mixed results. For the meatballs, "mushy" was the most descriptive word. There are some delicious looking recipes on the web for gluten-free vegan meatballs, but I wanted a no-muss recipe where I didn't have to cook brown rice or lentils or anything, really, except the meatballs. With S's help, I did the following with our food processor:
1. Put a bunch of broken pieces and heels of GF vegan bread (store bought Food for Life brand) into food processor; pulsed into crumbs and dumped into a large bowl.
2. Pureed a 1/2 cup of organic baby carrots, 2 shallots and 3 cloves of garlic; dumped in same bowl.
3. Rough chopped in food processor 1 can black beans; added to bowl.
4. Measured 2 eggs equivalent of egg replacer and water into food processor; blended; added seasonings: onion powder, dried oregano, dried Italian herb blend (made by my sister from her garden), salt, pepper, powdered mustard, and chili powder (no measuring); blended; added a scoop of the black bean back in and blended to a smooth puree; added to bowl.
5. Mixed all ingredients in the bowl and formed into small balls; placed balls onto oiled baking sheet; baked 12 minutes, turned over, baked 12 minutes and done!

Alas, I was the only one who really liked them, but I REALLY LIKED THEM! They would be great on a bean ball sub with marinara. Yum. I just gotta find GF sub rolls.

To the Mainstream Doctors

Dear Digestive Disorders,

You put me under anesthesia and looked down my throat and in my stomach. You took biopsies. You continued to prescribe Prevacid. When I told you one pill a day didn’t always work, you said over time many patients have to take it twice a day. When I asked about vitamin absorption, you said many women wean themselves to every other day so they can take vitamins on the days they don’t take acid-blockers. You said I was doing the right thing; that I was protecting myself from throat cancer by blocking the acid. I continued to suffer. I’d go weeks without break-through reflux, as I called it when I was on meds. Then I’d have it a few nights in a row for no known reason. I’d take over-the-counter heartburn medicine on top of my prescription medicine and I’d take Rolaids or Tums in the middle of the night when I woke up chocking on my own stomach acid. My throat was sore and I sometimes had a raspy voice or lost my voice altogether. At one point my husband put our bed on a slant for me because I couldn’t sleep through the night with the reflux. At this point I am deficient in vitamins, which I attribute to the Prevacid. I convinced myself I needed to take it for my future health, but I worried about long term effects and wondered how I could have needed this in my mid-twenties.

I also worried about my daughter who suffered from reflux often. I realized I’d had it off and on since childhood—probably since infancy since my mother said I was colicky. Both my kids had reflux as infants and had to sleep in carriers or a swing to be at a slant instead of flat. There had to be more of an explanation for all of this.

You did not explore diet. You told me the basics: don’t eat before bed; don’t drink alcohol or coffee if it bothers you; don’t eat peppermint; don’t wear tight pants; don’t lie down after eating at any time. I thought I’d end up having surgery. This couldn’t go on. Why didn’t you take a blood test and look for food intolerances. Granted, we knew I wasn’t allergic to any foods. I didn’t break out in hives and my throat didn’t swell. You didn’t explore my lower digestion either. Apparently you didn’t think that those issues (which were less severe) had anything to do with the severity of my acid reflux. But if you’d just put it all together, you’d have seen that my body was screaming! All the signs were there. If you’d just tested my blood and told me that wheat is often a trigger for reflux, I’d have had the answer sooner. Instead, I had to seek out my own physician that treats the WHOLE person and she did the proper blood work.

I am successfully off of all acid-blockers and have been for 2 months. I was able to do this by not eating gluten or wheat or dairy. Once I was secure in my new diet, I stopped taking Prevacid. Guess what? The new diet helps my daughter, too. Yeah, you might lose patients by testing for food intolerances, because if they changed their diets they’d be able to stop taking medicine and wouldn’t need to see you anymore. But you have to realize that not everyone wants to make drastic changes to their diet, so you’d still have plenty of patients that choose medicine over diet. Those of us who do want to feel better without medicine would benefit from you doing your job as doctors: First, do no harm. Proton-pump inhibitors are harmful. They prevent us from absorbing adequate nutrients and literally cause the stomach to rebel and create more acid. Then people just have to take more medicine. Or you do harm by doing surgery when dietary changes would correct the problem. While I’m glad I had a biopsy, if I’d changed my diet 5 years ago, or 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have even needed it.

One Week Later

It's been one week since my last post and one week since I stopped taking Prevacid. I fully expected to have terrible reflux at night and to have to sleep sitting up. At first I made a conscious decision to sleep only on my left side, which is better for preventing reflux, but in my deeper sleep I turned to my right side. Three nights in I woke up with a little tickle in my throat, so it was probably a little reflux. I immediately sat up for a minute and it went away and didn't return. I credit the ease of quitting prevacid and not having reflux with keeping my diet "clean." I had some wine early in the evening Sunday when we had dinner at my parent's, but I haven't had any alcohol since then. I also haven't had any dairy or wheat until yesterday when I had some chocolate candy and chocolate covered wafer cookies that were in the faculty room. Oh, and this morning I had ONE chocolate glazed donut hole. One. Then I left the room and had my coffee in my classroom. I keep vanilla almond milk and stevia at school to use in my coffee.

I've cooked a nice GF vegan dinner each night this week, but it's come at the expense of going to the gym. The classes I like to do are at 5:30, so that really interferes with dinner. I could go at 4 and work out on my own on a treadmill, but then we're still not eating until 6, and unless Will is home, the kids have to go to child care at the gym which means they're not getting to their homework until after dinner. It's better to just get home and have them do homework right after school so that by 6 it's just time to wind down and get to bed by 6:45 or 7pm. Believe me, they're cranky by 6 and if they have any difficulty with homework there are tears. Not to mention, I'm tired and I like having 2 hours of quiet in the house between 7 and 9pm so Will and I can watch our DVR shows before I go to bed at 9:30.

I fully expect to have nights in the future where I have to sit up due to acid reflux. Probably it'll be caused by eating late, eating a large dinner, drinking alcohol close to bed or screwing myself by eating dairy or wheat. At this point, though, I am so happy to not be taking the medicine and to be feeling good digestively, that I don't want to have dairy or wheat. Another aspect of cleaning up my diet is my dry, flaky skin on my face is clearing up some. I also stopped using Jojoba oil when I read that it contains oleic acid which can inflame seborrhea dermatitis, so that is probably a contributing factor to the improvement.

Overall, I'm feeling lighter, not at all bloated, and content with my diet. I still feel a twinge of temptation when I think of pizza, but then I think of the pain I'd be in if I ate it. And I make a pretty good GF vegan pizza with Follow Your Heart mozzarella.

Prevacid: A grave disservice

I'm doing better at following doctor's orders. I've been taking my supplements at lunch time. I got a pill box so when I go back to work I can keep it in my lunch box and take them with lunch. It'll also help me drink more water at work. There is still one medication I haven't gotten yet, called Glutaloemine powder, made by Xymogen. I couldn't find that brand, so I ordered an alternative brand of the same ingredients which are L-glutamate, aloe, licorice (DGL) and anabinogalactoside (whatever that is). You put a scoop in water 1-2 times a day to help with digestion. The goal is to get off Prevacid. I had been weaning myself off the drug starting with taking it every other day. I had gotten to every third day when I had attacks of reflux at night and had to go back to taking it every day before dinner. Now I've been having attacks at night even though I am taking it every day. In the past this would prompt me to add a morning dose, but now I know that isn't the answer. The acid pumps in my stomach are overcompensating because of the drug, a proton pump inhibitor. Instead of making me better, Prevacid is making the problem worse.

The worst part is that I've been on this drug for five years now. I started taking it about this time of year at age 25. Now that I'm 30 I've finally seen a doctor who is more supportive of including lifestyle changes in addition to medication for treatment of illnesses and overall well-being. My whole family is seeing her now. Her first question for all of us, is did the doctor run a food panel? I told her I'd had blood tests for food allergies, but the doctors of the past only tested for allergy, not intolerance. My current doctor ordered the correct tests and, as I've written before, found I am intolerant to dairy and wheat.

According to this and other articles, GERD can be a result of gluten sensitivity. Why wasn't a food panel my gastroenterologist's first course of action? Main stream medicine can be so stupid! Unfortunately as I wean off Prevacid I'm going to have even worse reflux until my stomach adjusts again. That's where the powder comes into use. I can also use Tums or Rolaids, but nothing that blocks acid production.

I should be feeling happier that I may have the answer to future relief from reflux, but I know it's going to be difficult. Just doing a GF vegan diet is difficult. There is a simplicity to eating that way, sure. But in our culture dairy, wheat and meat reign supreme. I found this article interesting in addressing how the bandwagon effect of GF diets is making it easier for those who do need the diet. The tone of the article is insulting to those who use elimination diets to feel better, but aren't diagnosed celiacs. Another interesting part of the article addresses how we become intolerant to foods that we give up for long periods of time, such as meat or dairy. If someone does give them up and then eat them again, the article says they could have an upset stomach. That, for me, and others I know, is certainly true.

There are symptoms showing on my skin that may be a result of the inflammatory effects of dairy and wheat. My fingers peel and crack as does a spot on one of my heels. My scalp has been affected by seborrhea dermatitis since puberty and there are spots on my face that are also affected. Itchy, flaky skin that doesn't go away with topical treatment is probably a sign of internal inflammation.

Most of this entry is to keep reminding myself of what I must do. I may repeat myself in future entries, but it'll all help me eat a GF vegan diet.

It's 6pm, dinner is on the table and I can't eat. I'm suffering by my own hand--and mouth. I was so stupid! I've known that dairy is no good for me. The blood test proved an intolerance. It also told me I'm intolerant of wheat, and hence, gluten. I had known it was coming. I jumped right in, looked up vegan GF recipes. I'd already been cooking and baking vegan for years, but I, myself, had never fully given up dairy. It went smoothly for a while, but then the cravings started. I wanted high fat, totally indulgent food; i.e. pizza! I'd already indulged in a bit of cheese here and there with my bean chili, tostadas, etc. I was fine. Then I indulged in homemade Christmas cookies people brought to work. Also fine. Then students gave me delicious baked goods. Still fine. I decided I couldn't stop. I had to just give in and have a big cheese pizza. A day later and yow! Crampcity. Definitely not fine. It wasn't just the cheese, I know, it was the gluten. In fact, even as I was eating pizza last night a terrible migraine-like headache was coming on. Light and sound hurt my head and I was in bed by 6pm.

There you go, Lauren. I guess I had to prove to myself that, though sometimes a little indulgence will be fine, inevitably it will lead to pain. My 6 year old, who has always been intolerant of dairy and egg, has also become GF recently. She also felt the need to prove to herself that she really shouldn't eat wheat. I don't even remember what she ate, but later in the day she had a terrible headache. It is a sight to see a little 6 year old holding her palm to her forehead and whining about having a headache. Children aren't supposed to have headaches! I know they do, though, and I bet it's often from food.

Alright. I really have to commit to being dairy and gluten-free. The problem is, I'm very tired every day. I haven't been taking care of myself like I should by taking my vitamins. I know I am deficient in B, Iron and D. I could also be taking my probiotic more regularly and MSM, which helps with energy. I need a lot of sleep and even after 9 hours of sleep have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. Needless to say, I don't have the energy to hit the gym after work. I just realized that it's almost the New Year--the standard for setting resolutions. I'm not focusing on the New Year, but just from today. I need to obey doctor's orders. Seriously.

1. Take vitamins EVERY day, like the medicine they are. I was prescribed them and I need them.
2. Resist temptations at work. No dairy, no wheat, no exceptions. Every time I eat it, I deplete my body's already low energy.
3. Focus on the food I can have and can enjoy. This means cooking, but it also means PLANNING. If I make a meal plan every Saturday, grocery shopping will be easy and dinner will be easier.

I'm not in this alone, either. G can do it and S finally agrees that cow's milk is disgusting. Cheese is our last hurdle, but even S has developed a taste for cheese alternatives! That is a miracle. Both kids are eating fried rice with tofu for dinner. I'm feeling better now, so I'm going to go enjoy a bowl as well.

Isolation

Recently I went to a little work reception where they served food and the only thing gluten-free vegan were the veggies; and the dip was dairy based. Then today I had a conversation during my daughter's soccer game and the person told me about a local farm shop. The bulk of the information was about the poultry they sold. Mmm..... yeah, I don't eat the flesh of formerly living animals--gross. It's very isolating to be in this sort of environment. Some of my coworkers are realizing that there is not food for me at events and I really appreciate when they see that. I want more support than the Internet. It's really awesome that other members of my family are vegan as well. Get-togethers are easy, except for the gluten-free part. My work environment, however, is very anti-vegan. It's nothing personal, of course, nothing from individuals. It's just cultural and, well, ignorance. It's not even on their radar to have meat-free dishes, much less dairy-free. At the few events where there was vegetarian food, it was vegetarian lasagna or pasta with cream sauce.
At first it was exciting to be vegetarian and explore all that offered. It was easier, though. Now trying to be vegan (which I'm not 100%) is more difficult. It doesn't help that my blood test recently revealed that I'm deficient in Iron, B12 and D. I already knew my D was low... that's normal with the lack of light and the fact that I'm so pale I can't be in unprotected sun long enough to make it. It's about time that my B store is lower because I haven't been good about taking my supplement and it's been 3 years now of transitioning to vegan. Iron deficiency is also normal in women my age because of menstruation, not because I don't eat cow. Wouldn't you know it that someone I shared this information with suggested it might help if I ate iron-rich meat. No thanks. I'll stick with beans and greens and take my supplement.
There is a vegetarian group in my area, but, and I'm being age-ist here, in the information online the members appear to be much older. I really want to find a mom's group because the hardest part is not figuring out how to keep my own diet exciting and rich, but in doing that for my kids. They don't feel deprived--they do have meat maybe once a week. But I really want to make their favorite meals vegan meals. The little one still says her favorite food is chicken nuggets. So, boo, Meat Industry. You suck. Also, Dairy Industry, I hate, hate, HATE the "Got Milk" posters you put all over my kid's school. I want to go around with a sharpie and cross out the "Milk" and write "Fat" or "Puss" or "Hormones" or "Blood" or "Childhood Obesity." Alas, there are cameras that would probably get me caught. Too bad I'm not a reckless teenager, although I was never really that reckless of a teenager. Now I'm thinking about Seth Meyer's Weekend Update "Really" section last night talking about congress making pizza count as a vegetable. I'm not surprised. Ketchup is a vegetable according to school nutrition guidelines and congress is making sure to fuck up everything Obama tries to fix. So, yeah, really... we're going to keep getting more unhealthy and fatter and not have affordable health care. Good plan, America.